Does the band play if the ship is on fire and sinking?

I have decided to go down with the ship. The word layoff's has not crossed any official lips, but is still on everyone's mind. I looked for other positions, and even found a few in my area, but thought "Is this place any better then the one I am leaving?" "Do I really want to be a new hire in this economy?"

The answer, no and fucking no. I have decided to ride it down to the murky deep. Maybe I will get some sort of severance package out of the deal. My life has been more upbeat since I made this decision. I guess I have let go of my fears and just decided to roll with whatever may come. Sometimes realizing you truly have no control and running with it is the best thing you can do.

On a similar note, I have been watching (more like hearing) a friend spiral out of control. She has made some poor decisions, and is paying dearly for them. She lives out of state, so it makes it harder. She has found herself with a new baby, old psychological issues and new soon to be ex batshit crazy husband. Their divorce is as whirlwinded and illogical as their courtship.

What is worse is that it is all very very public. They both (as myself, I shamefully admit) are on Facebook. As an aside, I totally intend to do a post on the evils vs the wonders of social networking sites. What to do when you are going through talk of divorce when you are linked as married on Facebook...you change it to complicated of course. Now you have virtually outed yourself for friends and family to see, bring on the onslaught of comments, blocking, deletions and down right immature stupidity.

Unfortunately this is directed at my friend exclusively. I know her family and I know most of her friends, they would rather insult you to your face then by Facebook and other virtual means. Also, most of us understand that it is between her and him, and our snarky comments should be either kept to ourselves or told to her directly...so she can share in the laughter.

However, my friend took it one step further, she started publicly blogging about it. She posted the link to her new fuck you husband blog on Facebook. She claims (and I believe it to a point) that it is therapy. She does have carpal tunnel and typing is faster then writing, however, by putting out there and letting everyone know it is there you do open your self up. This blog is therapy for me. I use a fake name and never use real names of friends and family to keep it private. Only a few friends and family knows that it even exists. I even cut down on the number of posts to bring my visits per day down. I do all of this so I can throw my ideas into the universe and only have to have minimal claim to them.

I think for her, it is her way of throwing all of the dirty laundry on the front porch of her in laws. She wants them to see what he has done, or maybe to try to absolve herself of wrong doing. I am not sure. I do know that she is transferring her anger and pain to many others, which is being tossed right back at her. A very vicious and long cycle. It is hard to take back the things you said, it is harder when they are published for all to see. I could try to tell her, but it would be lost. When you wake up in the morning to heartache and rage, your mind cannot see anything else.

I hope that she comes to this conclusion on her own and soon. She needs to remove the public blog and write and anonymous one. She needs to get the e-mails to family and friends and drop Facebook, at least for now. Her husband needs to leave her alone for a month or two, let his mind and anger settle. Everyone involved needs to take a step back, shut their mouths, clear their minds, take a breath and relax. Sometimes realizing you truly have no control and running with it is the best thing you can do.

Sword of Damocles

The recession has finally came knocking on my door. For the past six months I have watched friends and family lose their jobs. After a job loss or a threat of a loss, I would feel a sense of uneasiness about my own situation, but never any real concern until recently.

I have only traveled twice since January. Both trips were for a few days and were for minor things. My work has been mainly report writing, which I find horribly dull. Unfortunately, this horribly dull work is running out and I will be left with nothing. My fellow field geologists have been trickling back to their cubicles, having finished the last of their field work. None of us know of any field work on the horizon. The office geologist assigning me my reporting tasks will also be out of work shortly since we have not been doing field work that he can report on.

So as the office fills with the field staff so does fear. We know what it means for us to all be there at the same time. What is worse is that we are all speculating. It is hard not to. It starts off innocently enough..."Do you know of any work? Does so and so have any? Do you know of any new projects?" From there expressions of worry, and general defeat. We wonder aloud if we will have a job. Publicly kick ourselves for not doing more professional development so that we are more valuable to the company. I think most of us have resigned ourselves to the firing range.

I don't want to leave my company. I actually like what I do and I like the company. However, I find myself looking more and more for my next employment opportunity. Slowly trying to get use to the thought of interviewing again. The more I look, the more I realize that I may have to move to the job. This might mean a transfer to another city, or even another country. Which in itself is both exciting and unnerving.